Column 6: Dating In The City With Match Me Peterborough's Rebecca Cooper
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COLUMN 6 TOPIC: Putting your fear of rejection into perspective
As individuals, we are used to making a decision pursuing what best suits our needs, whether it is personally or professionally. We are picking one over the other, we are considering ourselves and what will make us happy, and simply making a choice.
When it comes to dating someone new, the fear of being rejected can be paralyzing. Many will avoid dating altogether to protect themselves from the potential pain they may encounter.
If you can take your emotions out of it for just a second, evaluate what the purpose of dating actually is.
Going on a date with someone is taking a thought and putting it into an action; you are confessing that you would like to get to know more of his person. Consciously deciding to give this person some of your personal time to get to know YOU is truly a wonderful thing.
Committing to a date should follow, with no expectations of the final outcome. Now this is where things normally go askew, as often people will instantaneously create an expectation, and doing so has now built up an anxiety of “What if it doesn’t work out?”
Think about this for a second: What if you go on a date with someone you think you are interested in and it doesn’t follow through with a number exchange or a plan for a second date? What will that do to you?
Will you wonder if you did something wrong? YES! Will you question this person's intentions? MAYBE, but there is probably no reason to. Will you be okay? YES, YOU WILL!
Going on a date is a stepping stone to discovering a person that you will love and appreciate. You will not want to go on a second date with every person you meet, which in turn means you are “rejecting” them—not because you are mean and cruel, it’s because you are looking out for your best interests and putting your needs as a priority.
